MARRIAGE

Marriage?  Not for everyone, but I’ve been married most of my life, so yes, I think you could call this my passion.  If it’s successful, it’s the best thing in the world, and I am pretty sure mine is one of the happy ones.

It does seem as though this is almost passe’ nowadays doesn’t it?  Forty-five percent of marriages end in divorce; 10 percent of couples separate but do not divorce. Perhaps it’s the independence of women that seemed to take a high priority during the women’s liberation movement.  Although not all, (as there are some women who do stay home and work their butts off) but many of us decided to work outside the home for either the need of two incomes, or wanting that extra money to have all those niceties for our home and children.  And I was one of them.  Not saying this is good or bad, but nonetheless circumstances have changed quite a bit since I was young.

Most women of my parents’ generation stayed home and worked pretty damn hard raising those children.  Home cooked meals, no cleaning lady, lots of laundry because children didn’t have 40 outfits to pick from each day.  I remember my mother always cleaning, and our meals were ready as the whole family sat down to dinner.  Convenience food was almost non-existent.  I guess I took all this for granted until I became a pre-teen, then we were taught to pitch in and even had chores with an allowance.  As I grew into my late teenage years, I paid rent to my parents for staying in their home. This taught me the value of making my own money as I matured into adulthood.  

I grew up in the 50’s and stayed home until I was married.  I met my husband at 19 and my parents insisted I wait until 21 to get hitched.  For some reason they thought at this age, I would suddenly know about booze and sex.  Didn’t leave home and get an apartment, as I was in college and I only had a part time job.  Didn’t travel, didn’t live with any men, and didn’t have a chance to party with the girls at the local pub.  But it was the life I chose and I wouldn’t give it up for anything.  I was very lucky to have found my soulmate as not many can say that if they married young.  We both grew up together, and had our share of ups and downs, but it worked out and it has now been 55 years with my best friend.  

Most of our friends have been on several marriages so we are kind of the odd couple.  And really can’t say what our success has been because we have had our problems just like all other couples.  But we have learned to cope with each others’ faults.  I really think many couples give up too easily and don’t try to work things out.  Of course, there are those who just plain married the wrong person and can’t get out fast enough.  So who’s to say which way is better, sticking it out, or moving on.  

As far as my views on marriage, I was fortunate.  However, if I was married to a man who made my days unbearable, I’d be out faster than a hot knife through butter!  I wouldn’t put up with that unhappiness as life is way too short to not enjoy it.  So I can understand why marriage is passe’, but sometimes having that certificate makes you try just a little harder.  You might find each other’s faults will be duplicated with another partner, so you just keep trying until you get it right.  There is not the perfect person, but every once in awhile you do find that someone to share your life with, and that is the wonderful part of this journey.